We’ve all come across conspiracy theories, whether on the internet, in our circle of friends or on social media: 5G chips in vaccines, the New World Order, the Illuminati… Faced with such ideas, it’s often more tempting and easier to abandon the debate, as it’s so exhausting and demoralizing. But is it possible to engage in dialogue with those who believe in them? Can we really change their minds? And when it’s a loved one, how can we maintain the bond without becoming exhausted or entering into conflict?
1. Understanding conspiracy beliefs
Before reacting, it is essential to understand that adherence to conspiracy theories often stems from a deeply rooted belief system. These narratives eliminate chance and always seek hidden causes. The conspiracy theorist sees signs everywhere, even where none exist. This way of thinking is linked to powerful cognitive biases, difficult to dismantle with simple facts.
2. Talk without confrontation
As much as possible, avoid direct confrontation. Do not see your loved one as an opponent, but as a victim, someone who, at some point, got caught up in it. It’s not always easy — especially if the person is defensive or arrogant — but trying to find common ground can open the discussion. Reminding them that you care, sharing positive memories, or saying that you’re worried can make a big difference. That bond may be what helps them gradually come back to reality.
And for the dialogue to have a chance of succeeding, favor private conversations in a calm setting. Not in public, not at a family dinner, and certainly not on social media. The fewer spectators there are, the greater the chance the other person will agree to listen.
3. Use doubt and don’t exhaust yourself arguing
It is often counterproductive to get involved in endless debates. The more you try to dismantle a conspiracy theory with arguments, the more you may reinforce the other person’s conviction. For the conspiracy believer, you become an enemy, part of the “system” they are trying to denounce. Factual arguments are often ineffective when faced with a belief.
Rather than imposing a truth, it’s better to ask questions that encourage reflection: “What would make you change your mind?”, “What are your sources, and can we question them together the same way you do with mainstream media?”. These small cracks in certainty are what can lead to progress.
4. Stay centered, avoid argumentative layers
Some discussions can quickly turn into marathons, where the other person piles up endless arguments (the infamous “argumentative mille-feuille”). Don’t get dragged into this game. Focus on just one specific point. If they believe, for example, that vaccines cause autism, stick to that topic and provide concrete evidence without spreading yourself too thin.
In some cases, you can also propose an agreement: “If what you say turns out to be true, I’m willing to reconsider my position. And you, would you be willing to do the same if it isn’t?”
5. Practice maieutics
Asking open-ended questions, in the Socratic manner, helps to reveal the internal inconsistencies of conspiracy theories. Simply rephrasing their ideas can highlight their oversimplification. It’s a gentle method that encourages introspection without a direct attack. It takes time, but it is often more effective than conflict.
6. Set clear boundaries
Some ideas cannot be trivialized. When discourse drifts into racism, antisemitism, or Holocaust denial, for example, it is crucial to set clear boundaries. One can remain kind without tolerating the intolerable. Restoring the facts and calling out harmful remarks is also a way to protect the space for dialogue without allowing it to become toxic.
7. Knowing how to let go
Sometimes, despite all your efforts, things get stuck. The conversation goes in circles, tension rises. In these moments, it’s better to let it go, without feeling guilty. There’s no point in insisting if the right conditions aren’t there.
It’s also important to keep in mind that conspiracy theorists are often vulnerable, isolated, and sometimes in a state of psychological insecurity. They may quickly withdraw into themselves to prove themselves right, as a form of self-protection. This is why it’s essential not to fall too quickly into value judgments, even if those are precisely the weapons they use. Empathy, even in disagreement, remains a powerful tool for keeping dialogue possible.
And above all: don’t exhaust yourself. You too are a collateral victim of these drifts. Take care of yourself.
8. Encourage action rather than passivity
impuissant face à un monde hostile. En proposant des alternatives concrètes – engagement associatif, projets collectifs, initiatives locales – vous pouvez ouvrir des perspectives d’action et de reprise de contrôle, loin des illusions conspirationnistes.
When dealing with someone who believes in conspiracy theories, there’s no magic formula. But there is a stance to adopt: listening, patience, kindness, without giving up your principles. You won’t necessarily convince them. But you can remain an anchor, a small crack in the wall. And sometimes, that’s already a lot.
